Your Fear Is Showing
so, the hand comes up from loosened dirt
tries to pull me down, I wake up hurt
I can’t handle anymore requests
to be friendly and wish you the best
it was awful and I’m glad you’re dead
it’s over!
get back to where you lay to rest!
you’re the shark in every dark water
you’re the clown, the beast, the nightwalker
I can’t manage one more episode
where I’m sucked into the TV’s glow
it was hellish, you’re the worst of ghosts
it’s over!
get back to all your resting bones!
it’s only as bad as I believe it is
it’s only as bad as I believe it is
it’s only as bad as I believe it is
walking in flames
I compel you far away from me!
I can’t coexist with spirits past
my heart knows what lives behind your mask
you are everything I feared, at last
it’s over!
give me peace, it’s all I ask!
I can’t coexist with spirits past
my heart knows what lives behind your mask
you are everything I feared, at last
it’s over!
give me peace, it’s all I ask!
Horrify
I’ll show you orphans sleeping on pavement
I’ll show you hopeless human arrangements
I’ll show you lands with no leaders - but laws against reform
still, I’m a monster, or so you have stated
are you horrified?
tell me again
are you horrified?
tell me all about the different lie you’re living with this time
one epidemic gave birth unto another
the child who struggled to thrive became a mother
then all the factors collide to rob the childhood from the child
still, you insist that I’m the enemy, the other
give me a rag to wash the makeup off my face
take off my costume, let me stand here in my place
I’m just a person in need of basic decency and grace
still, you reject me!
you say I’m not the same
are you horrified?
tell me again
are you horrified?
tell me all about the different life you’re living in this time
and this: are you are horrified?
if I were dying, you could love me
but I’m living, so you can’t
if I were dying, you could love me
but I’m living, so you can’t
if I were dying, you could love me
but I’m living, so you can’t
if I were dying, you could love me
but you can’t
are you horrified?
tell me again
are you horrified?
tell me all about the different ways you’re winning at this life
and this: are you horrified?
tell me again
are you horrified?
Women To The Front
it’s on my mind that I rarely get spoken to
communication is what I was made to do
but I want to be someone on your side
want to stand with you, eye to eye
I call for the heads now
women to the front, step up!
I call for the hearts now
women to the front, step up
why’s it so easy to separate from our kind?
the strength in numbers would benefit all our lives
and you want to be someone who is heard
I want you to get what you deserve
I call for the heads now
women to the front, step up!
I call for the hearts now
women to the front, step up
stand with me, beside me
I’m waiting, I’m waiting
stand with me, beside me
I’m waiting, I’m waiting!
I call for the heads now
women to the front, step up!
I call for the hearts now
women to the front, step up
Saw and Heard
I’ve had cause to look back on the ins and outs of us
they tell me not to stare, they tell me not stare
I’ve held all the guilt for who we were right in my gut
maybe that’s not fair, maybe that’s not fair
tapes can still rewind
I keep them in my mind
saw and heard you say you’re not the same as everyone
saw and heard the things you did while we were “having fun”
it’s a brand new day
I think I’ll be okay
your new presentation makes you look so very well
I want to wish it so, I want to wish it so
but I’m not yet at that place I’m sorting through the hell
so I can let it go, so I can let it go
these tapes preserved just fine
I played them all last night
saw and heard you say you’re not the same as everyone
saw and heard the things you did while we were “having fun”
it’s a brand new day
I think I’ll be okay
all those smiles
no accountability!
years and miles
where’s the accountability?
HEY!
saw and heard you say you’re not the same as everyone
saw and heard the things you did while we were “having fun”
it’s a brand new day
I think I’ll be okay
I’m sending this your way
Outlive You
now you’re walking down your street
your best friend lives around the corner from your place
and I’m always so far away
sometimes I think I’m spared your grizzly day to day
but I hear it in your voice
and I see it in your face
I don’t wanna know
but I wanna know
yeah, I forgive you
but I don’t wanna outlive you
I don’t wanna outlive you
it’s just for today
just for today
just for today
now you take your medicine
the one that half this fucking nation is prescribed
and I’m supposed to feel alright
about the fact that you’re not just about to die
but I think of you back then
I can make myself insane when I wonder how - I wonder when
I don’t wanna know
but I wanna know
yeah, I forgive you
but I don’t wanna outlive you
I don’t wanna outlive you
man, please be okay
please be okay
please be okay
time used to be on our side
now I think it only helps us lie
I don’t wanna know
I don’t wanna know
hey, I don’t wanna know
but I wanna know
yeah, I forgive you
but I don’t wanna outlive you
I don’t wanna outlive you
please be okay!
and I don’t wanna know
but I wanna know
yeah, I forgive you
but I don’t wanna outlive you
I don’t wanna outlive you
it’s just for today
just for today
just for today
In the Afterthoughts
if there’s any way out of this . . .
I don’t know how these things work
I’m just tired
I see fire; I’m already burned
it comes in waves
I see you and I hope for a better past
waves
I see me, still the hopeful iconoclast
icy cold in the afterthoughts
it’s icy cold in the afterthoughts
if you’d ever been dropped like this
you’d be suffering all your days
no, I’m fine
I see water; I’ll be okay
it comes in waves
I see you and I hate who I used to be
waves
I still live in this body; yeah, I’m still me!
icy cold in the afterthoughts
it’s icy cold in the afterthoughts
it comes in waves!
it comes in waves
I see you and lose sight of who I’ve become
waves
I see me and remember where guts come from
icy cold in the afterthoughts
it’s icy cold in the afterthoughts
Charade
are you receiving?
they’re calling out your name
got them believing?
go sell your pious claim
tell me all about the right way
(anyway)
tell me all about deceiving, deceiving
if I stand here, grounded
I don’t exist to you
you look confounded
go sell your stolen truth
tell me all about the smiling
(smile away)
tell me all about deceiving, deceiving
did I ever know you?
I don’t think that I did
your face looks familiar, but nothing else here fits
maybe we connected
maybe you’re all show
your face looks familiar, like someone I used to know
return to sender
message received, I guess
I’ll see you ‘round some
I’ll pass on being blessed
tell me all about my purpose
(fade away)
tell me all about deceiving, deceiving
did I ever know you?
I don’t think that I did
your face looks familiar, but nothing else here fits
maybe we connected
maybe you’re all show
your face looks familiar, like someone I used to know
did I ever know you?
I don’t think that I did
Eulogy Envy
I hate submitting to befitting bouts of grief
I hate admitting that our friendship met defeat
I saw a eulogy for someone and it said:
“Everyone liked him, he was everybody’s friend”
so, I’m cleaning it up
I’m cleaning it up
but even if I started now
the story’d be: I’m flawed, and how
yeah, even if I got it right . . .
when I see palm trees lined against a purple sky
I feel as though I might be more than getting by
something about the coastal air helps me forget
I’m still the living who’s in envy of the dead
so, I’m tying it up
I’m cleaning it up
but even if I started now
the story’d be: it all fell down
yeah, even if I got it right . . .
saw we know all the same folks again
saw the world didn’t explode or end
saw the textbook tale you’re living in
saw the traces of my former skin
yeah, even if I started now
the story’d be: I’m still the clown
yeah, even if I got it right
you’d still remember the last time
I’ll always be the lost
that’s the price my freedom cost
What You Ravage
shots fired, but who will you cling to?
I’m tired, but still my wall’s painted blue
you get what you get in this lifetime
we live without reservation
we give, but still expectation wins
you get what you get, don’t you waste my time
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
there’s gotta be something worth living for
the only way out of this mess is to die, they say
but I’m not giving up yet
though, I will let you walk away tonight
we tried, and how can they blame us?
but we fight and nothing remains of love
you get what you get when you risk it all
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
there’s gotta be something worth living for
it’s goodnight to the old hometown
it’s goodnight to the kids and clowns
it’s goodnight to the way it was
it’s goodnight and goodbye to us
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
what you ravage, you rake in
there’s gotta be something worth living for
there’s gotta be something worth living for
The Choice
I almost let my judgment of your ways
inform how I respond, how I behave
but, who am I to accept the role of enemy?
I choose to be kind; I can afford to offer empathy
I know I say some things you hate to hear
I know I give new voices to your fears
but can you be a friend?
can you be friend?
if you feel minimized, then show your strength
if you under-heard, then voice your say
but so can I be a person with a point of view
who I am is not about you being less of you
I know I wear my feelings on my sleeve
I know I’m bold about what I believe
but can you be a friend?
can you be a friend?
in certain governments, the house can divide
based on the issues; not ego, not pride
in certain faiths, there are parallel lines
outlining dogma; not gossip, not sides
in all our families, we learned to survive
we did our best with what we knew at the time
this isn’t family, nor law, nor divine
this is a friendship; can you be mine?
I know I say some thing you hate to hear!
I know I give new voices to your fears
but can you be a friend?
can you be a friend?
can you be my friend?
can you be a friend?
can you be a friend?
Resolution of the Wants
I have not descended here, I have not arrived
because I once was not as clear, because I was a child
I wanted you to know me, wanted you to show me
but you won’t; you don’t
sometimes the truth can’t be unknown
I know from history that I’ll get what I need
not what what I wanted when this all started
I know it’s up to me to take what I believe
and mend the parted, broken-hearted
you see, it wasn’t about you
it was about the bigger picture, the whole view
fearful bigots shoot their guns at all who care to love
privileged abusers wear their masks and flash their shiny gums
and I wanted you to show up, wanted you to grow up
but you don’t; you won’t
and here’s the truth’s own bloody show
I know from history that I’ll get what I need
not what what I wanted when this all started
I know it’s up to me to take what I believe
and mend the parted, broken-hearted
you see, it wasn’t about you
it was about the bigger picture, the whole view
maybe it’s a right of age
maybe it’s a growing stage
maybe it’s a brand new page
maybe it’s as yet unwritten, stolen - truthage!
I know from history that I’ll get what I need
not what what I wanted when this all started
I know it’s up to me to take what I believe
and mend the parted, broken-hearted
you see, it wasn’t about you
it was about the bigger picture, the whole view
and here’s the truth I’ve come to know
this is the day I let you go
Of the We
spare me the compliment
for somebody else, you malcontent
I don’t care what you meant
you’re already behind me, message sent
if you’re for one of us, you’re for none of us
this is different; can’t you see?
if you call for us, call for all of us
this is the nature of the we
indivisible, not for you to cleave
folks like you and your narratives
bask in your limitations, the gift that gives
I don’t care what your pedigree is
you’re already outside now, it is what it is
if you’re for one of us, you’re for none of us
this is different; can’t you see?
if you call for us, call for all of us
this is the nature of the we
indivisible, not for you to cleave
all the insightful flim and flam
is just you trying to maintain the upper hand
but there is no up here, there is no down
just peers and just equals, sorry you can’t hang out
if you’re for one of us, you’re for none of us
this is different; can’t you see?
if you call for us, call for all of us
this is the nature of the we
indivisible, not for you to cleave
be for all of us
call for all of us
Desperately Seeking
saints need not apply
we are all flawed
please don’t deny
shame has no place here
some have atoned
we all live with fear
as the horizon of heroes fills up with holes
I am reminded to only speak of what I know
if you have something to offer, something to show
I’m listening, I’m looking, I see you
we come and we go
care about yourself
don’t worry about me
care about someone else
stand for what you believe
fuck what they say
it’s all that we leave
as the sun rises on sadnesses all of us face
I am encouraged by others; we live, we embrace
if you have something to tell me, I want to know
I’m listening, I’m looking, I hear you
we come and we go
serve someone other than you
