Bad to See You
you and me
go way back to when the standard was abysmal
there wasn't much below (oh-oh-oh)
a small part of me
waxed nostalgic for our nine or ten good minutes
when I saw you at that show (oh-oh-oh)
then I remembered - you never could show up
and when it ended - I got back the space my hope was taking up
where you go, I don't care
I can't follow you down there
it's all the same, you won't look into my eyes
where I live, you don't know
it's not where you need to go to play the game
I hope you win the prize
there is just one thing between us that is true:
it's always bad to see you
it's always bad to see you
I used to think
we could make it far beyond this shitty bar scene
but they made you their court fool (ooh-ooh-ooh)
now I'm the weakest link
in the chain of insincerity you're wearing
and you don't make it look cool (ooh-ooh-ooh)
don't you remember - I never bought your lines?
and when it ended - I took all the blame as mine, all mine
where you go, I don't care
I can't follow you down there
it's all the same, you won't look into my eyes
where I live, you don't know
it's not where you need to go to play the game
and I hope you win the prize
there is just one thing between us that is true:
it's always bad to see you
it's always bad to see you
maybe you're the king of men
maybe I'm not right, but then -
where you been, kid?
where you been?
hey, where you'd go?
where I thrive, you won't grow
it's not where you need to go to play the game
and I hope you win the prize
there is just one thing between us that is true:
it's always bad to see you
it's always bad to see you.
This Disease
we disagree and suddenly I'm insane
I'm like an arrow from a gun
I displace me and get ugly from the strain
I'm like a moonbeam from the sun
I don't like the way you talk to me
I don't like getting the third degree
I don't like feeling under the tow
it's a confusing state
and yet it's all I know
I don't want to be just this disease
I don't want to see just this disease
therapies, institutions, and beliefs
we go so far to try to heal
I read three pages each morning for relief
they help distinguish what is real
I don't like the way I talk to me
I don't like giving the third degree
I don't want to become what I came from
but is it too late?
am I the fractioned sum?
I don't want to be just this disease
I don't want to see just this disease
if I openly accept the condition of me
the condition of you
will the healthy parts connect
and be able to build a pathway that's new?
I don't like looking over the shoulders
of the unafraid
I want to be bolder
I don't want to be just this disease
I don't want to see just this disease
it doesn't serve me anymore
it doesn't help me accomplish all the things that I'm here for
I don't want to be just this disease
Tuxedo Means Wolf
some of our eyes don't see the same
and our senses lead the brain
we don't answer to a name
we are the kind that can't be tamed
no one's learning anymore
I know, I know
no one's coming up with ways for us to grow
it's a culture without guts
a culture without us
and I, for one, am never dressing up
I saw two crows the other day
they were all business and no play
when they were done they flew away
they were all black; the sky was grey
no one's learning anymore
I know, I know
no one's coming up with ways for us to grow
it's a culture without guts
a culture made of lust
and I, for one, am never dressing up
we are the wilderness, my child
everything new comes from the wild
don't be so timid and so mild
cut through the trees and run a while
cut through the trees and run a while
everything new comes from the wild
How to Spot a Coward
if someone tells you their whole life's been fine
that they've never hit the wall or crossed the line
that they've shown up to every challenge right on time
go find the exit
if they name another person's cracks or faults
as to why they didn't get the things they want
take a moment to meditate on what they've lost
and find the exit
beyond the bathroom door a mirror hangs
and we must live with who each of us face
heroes fall
heroes fall
heroes fall
some have no guts at all
if someone tries to tell you who you are
to identify the weaknesses and scars
and then turn around and lay claim to your stars
show them the exit
if they laugh at you when you state what you need
try to make you feel like it's natural to bleed
say a prayer for what they'll be missing when you leave
and finally exit
beyond the skin we wear, we all survive
but we want something more - I want to be well, not just alive
heroes fall
heroes fall
heroes fall
some have no guts at all
Animals of Pride
when we parted ways, I came upon a grave of bodies
left in my own wake
a boneyard of mistakes
I saw my own face on every one of them
and now I struggle with the grace
to forgive and let erase
when we're abandoning ourselves
we can't be there for someone else
of all the Janes I've ever known
you're the one that let me down the most
we are animals of pride
we are animals of pride
and I chose to show you all of me
that's how it goes
we are animals of pride
we are animals of pride
I can't really say that I miss you
I miss versions of myself
I've had my armor shot through
I'm embarrassed and undressed
when we're just curating ourselves
we have no center or true depth, no depth
of all the Janes I've ever known
you're the one that let me down the most
we are animals of pride
we are animals of pride
I chose to show you all of me
that's how it goes
we are animals of pride
we are animals of pride
I want to grow
and it has to be without you now
I want to grow
I want to get beyond the graves
I want to grow
and it has to be without you now
I want to grow
there must be life beyond the graves
of all the Janes I've ever known
you're the one that let me down the most
we are animals of pride
we are animals of pride
I chose to show you all of me
that's how it goes
we are animals of pride
we are animals of pride
Rock Sugar
someone told me that instead of speaking
I should keep it to myself, keep it to myself
then she told me I should go to the mountain
and be quiet to my depths, listen for something else
there's time for quiet, and there's time for a voice
it's getting harder to begin when all things end
but I'd rather be alone than living with pretend
you'll feel better if you tell, better if you yell, because
rock sugar don't go down
rock sugar don't taste so sweet
there, beneath the surface of some doctrine
lives denial of the self, a practice to be deaf
but, standing in my story, it saved my life
when there was no one there to help, sometimes there's one else
so, I wish you courage, and I wish you a voice
it's been so hard to start again from all these ends
but I'm learning all about what really makes a friend
it's acceptable to tell
the cycle spirals on if no one changes course
we carry history from those who came before
they were too afraid to tell, too afraid to yell, because
rock sugar don't go down
rock sugar don't taste so sweet
maybe a small distinction should be made
being nice is less important than being brave
maybe a small distinction should be made
being nice and sweet is how little girls behave
rock sugar don't go down
rock sugar don't taste so sweet
rock sugar
NMA
it's not about how well we're liked
it's not about how well we smile
it's all about the things that we intend, inside and out
the way that we contend
to declare war on the NMA
you must make no one your enemy
my natural resting state is dark
too many years spent pulled apart
by fear and loss, the tendency for victimhood
runs strong in people just like me
I declare war on the NMA
I will make no one my enemy
the challenge is
to stay above stay above the punches thrown by other gloves
the challenge is
to be above the striking back
cover up! cover up!
to declare war on the NMA
you must make no one your enemy
I declare war on the NMA
I will make no one my enemy
The Terms
it's so important to know where the lines are
and then live your life . . .
for example:
I'm not about taking it off
the example
says what we speak is not enough
make it enough, make it enough, make it enough
for example:
I don't agree that men come first
that old preamble of, "he's so great"
bury it in dirt!
then ask me how I am next time around
but even when I feel the darkness come:
I don't have to like you
but I have to believe in you, believe in you
I don't have to like you
but I have to believe
my example
makes you uncomfortable and closed
does the mantle of what I claim
make you feel exposed?
if you think you're uncomfortable, imagine how I feel
my example
doesn't mean you have to change
it's just a sample of something else
by the same name
I don't call it perfect, but I call it mine
but even if we're all blind, I think it's time:
you don't have to like me
but you have to believe in me, believe in me
you don't have to like me
but you have to believe
this idea of being right
it separates us and dignifies a fight
this idea of being firm
exists outside of what the wisest ones have learned
these are the terms
these are the terms
you don't have to like me
but you have to believe in me, believe in me
you don't have to like me
but you have to believe
I don't have to like you
but I have to believe in you, believe in you
I don't have to like you
but I have to believe
Scissors and Stars
we walk away, we walk away
and imagine how it ends
all the way, all the way
down a road with its own bends
and it seems we are defined by what we've done
but who's to say? who's to say?
if you're gonna take stock of what you're not
you have to take stock of what you are
from one perspective all the edges are too sharp
might be scissors, might be stars
we cut away, we cut away
and believe the excess falls
gone to stay, gone to stay
we mark the progress on our walls
and it seems, for some, the lessening has won
are you ok? are you ok?
if you're gonna take stock of what you're not
you have to take stock of what you are
from one perspective all the edges are too sharp
might be scissors, might be stars
from the bone, from the bone
we have the right to our perspectives as they're shown
from the bone, right from the bone
we have the right to look again . . . again
if you're gonna take stock of what you're not
you have to take stock of what you are
from one perspective all the edges are too hard
it might be scissors, might be stars
it might be scissors, might be stars
Good to See You
fear and envy . . .
fear and envy, competition
the ugliness gives us permission
to be less than we should, less than we are
some of us can't get past the wounds and scars
but, I'd like to know you
if we were all born on this day
this would be easy, easy
and if we all died on this day
this would be easy, easy
if we knew every person's name
it would be easy
we'd be the same, not safe
most people live in painted cages
we lose ourselves in quiet stages
then look back on our lives and reminisce
about the bad old times we actually missed
I'd like you to know me
if we were all born on this day
this would be easy, easy
and if we all died on this day
this would be easy, easy
if we knew every person's name
it would be easy
we'd be the same, not safe
why're you going home right now?
why can't we exist like grown adults, somehow?
I'm ready to be different, I'm ready to be new
when I say, "it's good to see you," I want it to be true
I want it to be true
if we were all born on this day
this would be easy, easy
and if we all died on this day
this would be easy, easy
if we knew every person's name
it would be easy
we can be safe, safe, safe
