I wrote a whole essay. It was 2600 words. It (imperfectly) outlined my disdain for the Woke Good Guys Who Are On Your Side and their infiltration of the Women's Movement, as they have a tendency to explain, instruct, criticize, and take up space in a movement they're not actually helping to advance. I talked about how these people are more insidious than the cartoonishly sexist men of the Nashville music community because at least Nashville dudes are honest about what they believe. The PJ-Harvey-t-shirt-feminists-who-talk-down-to-women are the ones I'm coming after. The ones who want to parse out the #metoo movement and make it something they can control and digest, so they never have to change. The secret patriarchy, as it were.
While these things are true for me and tie to my experiences of being raised by self-anointed Good Guys who couldn't actually be on my side when I came forward about the abuses I survived—or anything else, today is not the day. It just isn't.
A Black man named George Floyd was murdered by non-Black police officers in Minneapolis this week. On camera. In front of other people. They haven't been arrested. The president's tweets are inciting violence against the rightfully angry Black community—while using racist language and rhetoric in the process.
I could go on here about how White people need to be involved and study the racist systems that we benefit from, how it's our job to take action here, how we need to be constantly checking ourselves, checking our privilege. But then I'm just another White person taking up space in a moment that belongs to someone else. I know how that feels.
I will do those things. I'm so sorry this is happening. I vow to help.
I'm coming back for the secret patriarchy and their PJ Harvey records another day. Believe it.
Thanks for reading,
Buick Audra
Friendship Commanders
ANYWHERE (FROM THE NAMELESS BRIDE)
how’s your ego doing?
tell him I say hi
tell him I skipped town with my life in tow
I’m living way outside
how’s the fire burning?
how’s the sense of pride?
tell him I said best of luck forever
from the nameless bride
I would know you anywhere
I’d know your eyes
you remain familiar like the tissue healed from bites
I would know you anywhere
I’d know your lies
forever familiar like the history of the age-old fight
how’s your ego doing?
all these miles away now
all I see is hope
sometimes pressure and relief
are hostage in the same ol’ boat
I may not be ready
I may not be well
but I am sick and tired of the sameness
you propel - we’re not the same!
I would know you anywhere
I’d know your eyes
you remain familiar like the tissue healed from bites
I would know you anywhere
I’d know your lies
forever imposing like the history of the age-old fight
how’s your ego doing?
give me one reason to stay
give me one reason to try
if this is all there is
let’s wave goodbye
I would know you anywhere
I’d know your eyes
you remain familiar like the tissue healed from bites
I would know you anywhere
I’d know your lies
forever imposing like the history of the age-old fight
how’s your ego doing?
tell him I say hi.
